The Art of Thoughts

Nobyembre 09, 2017

The Thought Catalog

The truth is — it will never work out with the wrong ones.

You can mold yourself into what this person wants you to be and you can do everything by the book and listen to all the love coaches out there but you still won’t be able to get the kind of commitment you want from the wrong person. You won’t be able to feel loved or feel good enough or on cloud nine when you’re with the wrong person.

You can tell yourself that love is not perfect and you’re okay with not getting the kind of love you want exactly. You will convince yourself that you’re okay with settling or lowering your standards but your frustration and anxiety will creep up on you at 2 AM in the morning when you’re tossing and turning in bed wondering if they will wake up the next day and leave you. Wondering if they’re just busy or they’re being distant because there’s someone else.

You can wait for them to be ready, be patient with them and continue being their friend and they could still fall for someone else. You can play all your cards right and you still won’t win because simply they don’t want you the way you want them and they don’t feel the way you feel and they will always be ten steps behind you.

The wrong ones will never meet you halfway or be on the same page. You’ll always be ahead, you’ll always be doing the work for them, you’ll always feel that without you, there’s no balance, there’s no relationship, it’s mostly one-sided. It’s mostly you doing all the work.

The truth is you can always tell the difference between someone who is trying to keep you in their life and someone who doesn’t care about losing you.

Because the truth is — the wrong ones don’t care about losing you.

The truth is the wrong ones will never see your beauty or your greatness or your strength. They’ll always look for something else. They’ll always make you feel invisible. And you deserve someone who sees you. Someone who makes you feel alive. Someone who doesn’t make it a challenge to get close to them. Someone who makes love look somewhat easy.

—@ranianaim via @thoughtcatalog

📷: @swayslife

When you’re the girl who is always there for others — you feel a lot. You have depths within you, an ocean for a heart, and you keep falling for people who are too scared to swim.

You hurt. My god, do you hurt. You ache, wondering if someone will ever give you the love you so freely give to others.

And when that doesn’t happen, you heal yourself. You find strength in things other than people. You find energy in your solitude, you find hope in your daydreams. You build yourself up, tell yourself that you don’t need anyone to save you, that you don’t need anyone to steady your foundation.
But you do.
See, sometimes the girl who is always there for everyone else, needs someone there for her. Sometimes, the girl who smiles the biggest holds the biggest hurt. Sometimes the girl who encourages everyone around her needs to be told that she is appreciated, that she matters; sometimes she needs to be encouraged herself.
So, if you’re the girl who is always there for others, know that your heart is rare. Know that you hold within you an ability to calm storms in people. Know that you give people hope, that you inspire them by acknowledging the pieces of them most ignore, that you make people feel wanted, that you make people feel like they have purpose.
However, also remind yourself that you are not invincible. Your heart needs rest. You need rest. Remind yourself that you do not need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, that you may not be able to save everyone, that you may not be able to heal every hurt. Remind yourself that you deserve to take all of the energy you put out into the world and invest it back into yourself from time to time. That you are worthy of the love you keep giving to everyone else. Remind yourself, that you don’t always have to be strong, that you don’t always have to be the fixer. Remind yourself that you can be human, that you can ask for help; that you don’t always have to be the one to save yourself.
—@rainbowsalt via @thoughtcatalog
📷: @theadamchin

I can’t wave a magic wand and fix you, make all of your problems disappear like a rabbit in a hat, but I can be here for you, always, and I will be.

I’ll be here for you when you’re too stubborn to admit that you need help.

I’ll be here for you when you just want to stay in bed. I’ll be here for you when you don’t want to hear about the nice things going on in everyone else’s life. I’ll be here and I won’t try to lighten your darkness, or steep happiness into your sadness. I’ll let you feel what you’re feeling, and I’ll just be here to listen. I’ll be here waiting with acceptance, not judgment, and I’ll hope you believe that I’m telling the truth.

I can’t master some hypnotic power to make you realize that certain people aren’t good for you, that you and your life would feel so much better without them. I can’t make the bad people go away, but I can be here for you when they continue to come back. I can be here for you when they create destruction, and I’ll be here for you when you’re left alone to clean it up.

I’ll be here for you when bad people make you feel like you don’t deserve anything good in life. I’ll be here for you when those bad people try to take all the good things away. I’ll be here when you feel their words like bruises on your skin, when you play them on repeat inside your head. I’ll be here when those words leave scars that are far too deep for any band-aid to cover up, and I’ll be here to make sure you don’t pick at them, make them deeper than they were from the start. I’ll be here to take your mind away from it all, even if it’s just for the day, for an hour of back and forth texting, for a 40 second Facetime that reminds you, you are loved. I’ll be here to remind you just how wonderful you are.

I can’t fix you. I can’t fix the way you see yourself. I can’t fix your life, your problems, your relationships. I can’t fix any of these things. I want to, but I can’t. So instead, I’ll just be here. I’ll be here for you, because I love you, and that’s what you do for the ones you love.

—@tarkoffn via @thoughtcatalog

📷: @sonjamilojevicphotography

I know you feel damaged beyond repair. I know your body doesn't move in the way it used to and you don't feel like trying anymore. I know about the fighting. About the way you fought and fought your way into your worth. In order to prove your place in other people's lives. I know you are told to keep fighting. To keep going. This is how your

battle scars become birthmarks.

Let's take a second to stop. To stop fighting and to try something different. Let's try letting go. Sitting here and doing nothing else. Let's try to change what's around us instead of what's inside us. Let's let go of those "friends". Let's say no when we are asked to give parts of us that hold us together. Respect yourself enough to try to learn how to love yourself properly. Understand this is caring for your body parts. This is loving yourself. Stop fighting yourself into the light. Into the healing. Come to realize that by changing what's around you, naturally you will change the inside of you. You've been through the battle. You got your scars. The fight is over. The painful part is gone. Now it's time to breathe. It's time to fix the damage and build in a way to prevent it from happening again. This is the calm part. This takes courage. So be brave enough to rebuild. This is how your battle scars become birth marks.—@j_ohana_xx📷: @victorlbd

What anxiety actually is:

It is a battle in the mind which takes its toll in one's soul and body. It comes and goes.

You don't know when it will strike or when it will stop. You may find yourself feeling good and joyful in one moment then forlorn and gloomy the next. Sometimes, a trigger is the culprit but there are times that you feel anxious for no reason at all. You keep telling yourself that it's all in the mind and that the mind is strong enough to conquer the situation but often you lose this battle. You end up having sleepless and crying nights. You feel lonely, miserable, and alone. You feel worthless and you think that no one cares for you.

But never ever give up. Do not give up. No matter how hopeless this situation may be, it will always end at some point. Maybe today, or tomorrow or anytime soon. It will definitely end. You just have to be strong to endure it all.

Don't limit yourself. Try to be with friends and loved ones instead of pushing them away. Don't always bring yourself down instead lift yourself up. Find new things to do to distract you from havig anxious thoughts. Try out new hobbies. Go to new places. Slowly come out of your comfort zone. Don't ever feel that you're alone becuse in truth you're not. Learn to ask for help from other people who are close to your heart instead of keeping it to yourself. Surround yourself with good people and focus on positivity. If you allow anxiety to turn your life upside down, then half the battle is already lost. Believe in yourself and have faith. Remember, all good things come to those who wait.

—@rayadorable via @poemsporn_

📷: @evanbatky

How to let go of someone who has already let you go? Change your ringtone. Find a new place to get loaded. Kiss a stranger and make sure there are witnesses. Focus on the details you can control; clean the gunk from the soles of your shoes. Degunk everything you can, as often as you like. Make a list of the things he kept you from doing, the haircut or the tattoo or whatever. Do the things. When you have the urge to text him, floss your teeth instead. Stop checking social media for signs that he misses you, you will not find what you’re looking for. Close every window in your apartment and at full volume play “Changed the Locks” by Lucinda Williams, over and over till you can sing it backwards. Take a walk and be grateful there’s no one there to steer you in any one direction. Get lost if you like. Learn a new language, one he doesn’t speak. Remember the bad times and how you tricked yourself into believing they were good. Hold onto that dumb, blind optimism with all ten fingers. When the new moon arrives, write his name on a piece of paper and draw an X through it. Shred the paper and keep it in an ashtray. When the full moon arrives, burn the pieces to ash and scatter them in the wind. This is one way to set an intention. Tell a girl you don’t know that you like her hair. Feel the relief of losing something you sometimes wanted to replace, anyway. Nothing’s perfect. Develop an internet crush on someone who lives so far away that they can’t hurt you. Call your long distance friends and ask after them and don’t say his name once. Place one hand on your knotted stomach or heart and use two fingers from the other hand to tap the base of your neck. Inhale and exhale. Tap and breathe and close your eyes while reminding yourself that you’re still here, even if he’s not. You still have a body and a mind and those are yours to keep. Go on a first date with someone you won’t want to see again. Drink as much wine as your stomach can hold and tell him your secrets and don’t apologize once. Vulnerability can be a weakness or a strength.

—Steph Georgopulos via @thoughtcatalog

📷: @dianewithonen

Maybe you never thought you hurt me.

Maybe it's because every time

I was about to break down

I ran and hid away from you.

I had too much pride to ever show

you the river of tears caused by

your wretched words.

You strung those letters together

to make up lies about me.

And so I built walls so high,

to hide my crumbling body from you.

And I bit my tongue before

lashing out on you,

I reserved those words to

break myself down mentally.

I made myself believe that I was

Pathetic,

Weak,

Undeserving.

As much as you have hurt me

I have hurt myself more.

For staying.

For hoping things would change.

I was just too embarrassed

to come out and show the world I failed.

To let them know they were right all along;

about you.

But my tears have run dry.

I have learned to call myself beautiful.

I have stopped running away from you.

Somehow your physical abuse strengthened me.

My legs fought hard to stay standing with every blow.

Strong enough to find their way out of this misery.

This story I thought that would never end.

I needed to be shattered.

So I can be my own hero.

To put myself back together.

But this time I am stronger than ever.

—@doonz____📷: @heydoza

She looked at her hand,

at the dangling half burned cigarette.

And at how well it represented her life.

Half burned, half destroyed, half killed.

The other half integrally in other's control.

At how mirthfully she killed herself,

to annihilate other's pain.

How they always threw away the tiny stub,

the only thing left of her.

But somehow it felt wrong,

comparing herself to a half burned cigarette.

Rather she thought about the dirty mirror in her room,

how she sometimes felt beautiful looking into it, after her panic attacks.

She thought of hot coffee and cold beer,

about how paradoxical she has always been.

She thought of her scars, and how she'd always survived,

how she has terminally learned to move away from those who destroyed her.

And at that moment,

with the saltiness of blood in her mouth,

the red skin in her black painted nails,

she finally realised,

how nothing ever contained her,

how no one could ever hold her back,

how anything never butchered her courage.

And she knew,

she was not be to burned or broken easily.

Not even the demons inside her could ever destroy her.

She would no longer be a half burned cigarette.

—@aparadoxsoul

The truth is, you deserve to be loved. Even now, with all of your flaws. However difficult you think you are, there is someone out there who will love you.

They will hold your hand through your anxiety. They will be there for you even on your worst, angriest days. They will allow you to grow and evolve in the way you need. And even when you make mistakes, they will take the time to understand you and forgive you.

Love is not a thing that needs to be earned by changing yourself from the person you are. You can better yourself, but never ever think you need to better yourself for anyone other than yourself. Those kind of changes never last.

This is the kind of love you deserve. This is the kind of love you need. No one is too difficult to love when they have love in their hearts to give to others. Please don’t believe whoever told you that you will never find the love you need, not even yourself. Don’t tell yourself that changing who you are will get you the love you need. Because this you, all raw, all broken is still beautiful, is incredibly wonderful to someone.

Believe in yourself. You are not too difficult to love.

And you deserve love. Just like this. Just as you are.

—@nikita_gill via @thoughtcatalog

📷: @natashajanardan

Here’s to the girls who would rather stay wild and wander than settle down.

Here’s to the girls who actually enjoy their own company and don’t need someone with them to feel accepted. The girls who are fearless in buying a plane ticket to a foreign country alone.

Here’s to the girls who look for love, but are completely content on their own, and who never settle for anyone who doesn’t deserve them.

To all the girls who would rather catch flights than feelings – I’m with you.

I’d rather live for the moments that I’m waking up at 4 AM to watch the sunrise on a mountain top. The days where you planned to just relax, but end up going on a motorbike adventure to a waterfall. The morning you wake up alone in a new city then go to the common area to make your morning coffee and you instantly make new friends.

I’d rather live for the spontaneous moments that you could never predict than have a life that’s planned out and set in stone, a routine that doesn’t fulfill me and relationships that bore me.

I’d rather live out my curiosity than always dream of what my life could be.

As selfish as this sounds, I’d rather live my life for me – the way I want. I want to go where I want, I don’t want to consult anyone over a trip, I just want to buy the ticket. If my plans and path change I don’t want to have to explain that to anyone, I just want to go. If I meet someone wonderful I don’t want to say goodbye because I have someone else back home to worry about.

I don’t want any of that. I want to live wild and free, completely on my own without any restrictions.

Here’s to the girls who feel the same way, the one’s who want to put their dreams first and live out their happiness. The girls who aren’t concerned with settling down and finding someone to put a ring on their finger. The girls who are happiest when they’re alone because they’ve fallen in love with their lives.

Here’s to the girls like me, the ones who’d rather catch flights than feelings – the ones who will never, ever, settle.

—@beccamartin3 via @thoughtcatalog

📷: @kat_in_nyc

You have to burn bridges to light the way. I know it's hard, I know it hurts to see all the people you used to get along with; the ones you used to call your closest friends, leave. I know it hurts to see them fine without you, I know it makes you feel insignificant. As if the world could bump you right off and no one would notice. For the sun and the moon and the stars... they dont wait for anyone. The world will continue to revolve, and you will feel like you cannot keep up, and you will try, in vain, to run after it. You will try to forget and you will find yourself laughing so hard at things you don't find funny, trying so hard to just.. blend in. To find a spot in this world, for whatever wish you had to be different, whatever good you saw in standing out. It's gone. It's completely shattered, and all you want to be is what they would want you to be. The version of yourself that wouldn't be left behind. But honey, you will stumble so hard. You will fall violently back down to the ground, and the impact will send you crashing back to square one. And you know what? The world will continue to revolve, not because it hates you, but simply because it doesn't revolve around you. You can't make time freeze, you can't be someone you aren't, you need to learn to stand up and stop blaming them for putting you down. Yes, they started the fire, but you let it get to you. You beckoned it further, you're the reason for the forest fire. So stop dwelling, there's no reason for you to stay here anymore, the fire's left nothing but ashes. Let the bridges burn, and let it light the way. There's so much more. Like i said, the world never stops revolving.

—@karmunnn_x via @poemsporn_

📷: @dfreske

And if I’m being honest? I don’t think you realize you love someone until you do. I think that is what makes it so beautiful. There is no loud, screeching halt inside of your heart, no neon sign that suddenly lights up and lets you know that you have found your favourite thing. No. I don’t think it works like that. I think it's quieter, calmer. One day you’re just sitting across from someone, and you’re watching them tell some story you’ve heard twenty times, and everything inside of you feels safe. Everything is serene, and peaceful, and you almost laugh to yourself, because in the midst of all of that chaos, you realize just how deeply you care about them. In the midst of the crowd, or the background noise, or the chatter of other people in the restaraunt, time slows down for a moment, and there it is — the rest of your life. There is it — love.

—@rainbowsalt via @thoughtcatalog

📷: @junebugweddings

Road To Recovery:

You wish that things will eventually get better. You hope that one day you’re not that sad anymore. But sweetheart, listen, you can’t just lay in bed or stay in your room all day while hoping things will get better just like that.

Honey, you need to put some effort to make it happen.

Dress up, go to the park, breathe some fresh air, look at the pretty flowers, catch the butterflies. Let your inner you feel free from after all this time locking yourself away.

Dress up, go to the library, pick a novel, spend hours there, bring your brain to places, let the words inspire you. Let your minds be free after being stressed all these time.

Dress up, go out there, this big bad world isn’t that big bad after all if you find something good for you in it. Let yourself free in this big bad world. Distract yourself from the sadness you’ve tangled to, let go of the things that’ll let you down, spread that beautiful smile of yours, give your eyes a break from flowing tears by seeing new beautiful things.

—@sitiinurhalizaaa via @poemsporn_

📷: @enby.xyz